One whole year since my last blog. I could make up a whole bunch of excuses but none will suffice.
You know that feeling when you know you need to do something and it sits there nagging somewhere in the back of your head? And, as time passes you think, "I don't even know where to begin now, its been so long." More time passes and then you think, "Its really too late now, Im sure people have forgotten."
Well, that has been me.
And to be very honest, I actually don't know where to begin or what to say. But here it goes...
I am going to start off with where we are at now...
Pete is pretty much half way through second year at BSSM. Only half of the first year students stay on to do another year, so his "class" has gone from roughly 1200 students down to 700 this year. While first year deals with identity and base-level-heart-stuff; second year focuses on leadership and empowerment. Its kind of like going from primary school to high school. Last year I saw Pete climb out of his skin and this year I've seen him step into his heavenly sonship and authority. Its been so beautiful to see.
I am at home with both of the girls as we stepped into the new and totally overwhelming world of homeschooling this year. It has been a dream of mine to homeschool for a couple of years now but I had no idea that there were so many curriculum choices, styles and opinions out there! Wow! But we are happy and taking it slow with the help of Pinterest and Redding Library. Amy loves being at home with Katie and their little relationship has flourished into something precious and deep - something school cannot bring. We spend our days baking, drawing, painting, reading and exploring. LIFE is our little school I suppose.
On the side I have been attending a few classes too; including some prophetic training and a parenting course. I am also still volunteering in Sozo Sessions twice a month.
BUT...let me go a little deeper here.
What have these past 16 month's taught us? What has been the biggest change in us? Has it been worth the sacrifice? When are we coming home?
So let me tackle the last question - one that keeps popping up for us is "when are we finished?" I wish I could answer that, for your sake and mine :) We want all that God has for us this side and we don't want to cut it short because of finances or time. We are still on student visas and so finances are a real concern (especially with the Rand's position) but not a concern at all for God. We have been incredibly blessed by friends and family! The financial side of our journey would take another blog all together but what I will and can say is we have never been without. Incredible!
The word 'sacrifice' is not what it has been for us. Our biggest priority as a little family is having a big YES to God, even when the world around us says "no" or "maybe". The reward of saying yes makes the sacrifice seem pale and petty. Its hasn't been an easy 16 months and there have been lots of tears and fears. But all we know is that God NEVER says no to us. His 'yes' to us is bigger, stronger and safer than we can ever imagine. He looks after His own, in the most subtle and incredible ways...and in lavish and huge ways too :)
From the depths of my heart... These last 16 months have been huge for me. I have been on a road of learning how to focus on His 'yes' to me. For so long I have been striving to find my call and my gifting, what I have to offer, where I fit in etc. Working hard, serving and pressing on has been a habit, and its often a habit to many - all competing to be noticed or heard by man. Its exhausting guys! And to be honest, I didn't once think of going to the quiet water and hearing God speak His 'yes' and His design over me. It sounds so simple and yet its been the biggest breakthrough of my life. I realised that Gods place for me over this season has been to "be home and to do it WELL." To plant healthy seeds into my children's lives and watch those seeds closely. To watch over the gate of my mouth and to praise Him even when its hard and lonely. To be aware of whats happening around me spiritually, and to worship when I feel heavy, tired and want to cry. It has been in these hidden moments where I have felt the pleasure of God all over me. I knew I was in His 'yes' and I felt heaven back me. This has been my biggest victory and its all been behind my apartment door. I don't always get it right and some days are particularly hard but I am learning. Ha! I have been in school too I guess :)
YES! Its been worth it.
We haven't changed. We are still Pete and Lis. We still have South African accents and so do our girls. I still go online and check the price of milk at Woolies and Pick n Pay. I still burst with pride when I hear someone talking about Africa. I still make curry and bobotie. I still chat to my friends and family often and I still say howzit to everyone.
But we have changed. I am Lisa, I now know what I can offer and what I have to offer is enough. Its always enough because I know that His love never runs out.
I now know what peace looks like and how powerful it is.
I know that fear is actually just a lie and is often a ploy to hold you back from your biggest destiny.
I now know that words carry HUGE weight and can move mountains and can expose gold.
I know that I can stand in the pleasure of God always and His grace and goodness is sufficient ... always.
I know that worship changes atmospheres and praise is a weapon.
But most of all...
I know that living for His pleasure alone is the greatest honour and its become my greatest prize.
I live to make Him known.
YES! He is worth it.
