Thoughts on parenting.

Most parents want their children to grow up to be healthy and whole adults that will, hopefully, change the world. As christian parents we deeply desire our children to be those world changers: evangelists, Mother Theresas, presidents, revivalists, inventors and so on. We tell our children that they are unique and special. Princes and princesses.
I believe that every child is a gift to the world. I believe that within every child is the possibility for the impossible to happen through their life. Nothing is tainted, nothing is capped. They are born believing the impossible. I look into a child's eyes and I see incredible depth and sparks of hope that "life" hasn't dampened or shallowed.
The responsibility as a parent is enormous!

the thing is that we can call our kids royalty but have we trained them how to behave in the presence of Kings and Queens? We have the privilege and responsibility to equip our children with the character that will sustain their destiny. Every "hero" in the Bible had a time of preparation:
Esther was chosen but spent a year in preparation to be a Queen. Daniel was trained for three years before he could advice King Nebuchadnezzar. Joseph spent a substantial amount of time serving in Potiphar's house before being the governor of Egypt. Moses became a shepherd for Jethro before leading the Israelites into freedom. Samuel was trained under Eli before becoming a prophet. David was trained in the silence and hidden of the pastures before he became King. Joshua was Moses's shadow before he lead the Israelites across the Jordan river.

Character starts in the home. It is moulded in the unseen and in the safety of family. It begins with making your bed, cleaning your room and eating your vegetables. God always trains and equips before he releases. Jesus did this with his disciples as he ate with them, spoke with them, washed their feet and invited them into his heart. Parents can do the same thing with their children.
Family models Kingdom and it is our awesome privilege as parents to see and hear the voice that God speaks over our children and partner with Him as we prepare the foundation of their character so that they are equipped to carry the call of God. We don't manufacture their destiny, God has done that.

Behind every world changer is a mother and a father who said Yes to God. A Mary who said yes to the angel despite the ridicule and slander she would endure. A Hannah who was desperate for a child only to give that child back to God. A nameless mother who, by faith, laid her baby in a basket and let him float into the palace of the enemy. A Jessi who watched his young armour-less son walk up to a giant. A Sarah who laughed in the face of age a barrenness as she delivered a promise.

kingdom looks like family: conceive, birth, belong, train and release. Conceived in love, birthed in faith, belonging by name, trained in safety and released into destiny. Love, faith, belonging and safety must always precede destiny. If we walk into destiny before we know who we are and why we are loved we cannot be sustained. Identity comes first.

The Smile of Significance

Significance: to be great or important; worthy of attention; having meaning.

We all want significance in life. To know that what we are doing really matters. Significance is the driving force that pushes us to pursue our purpose, and without it we lose hope. Think about almost every movie or television show you watch – the unassuming quiet character discovers his inner voice as he rises up through adversity to conquer his biggest fear. He becomes the hero and boldly blows up everyone else perception of him.
We. eat. it. up!
Its in our DNA to seek out greatness, to make a difference and to live under a mantra of “who I am and what I do really matters.”
While all of this is good and necessary, Im reminded that the Bible tells us to lose ourselves, to deny ourselves and that “to die is gain.” The Bible tells us to not love our life here on Earth because it is temporary and there is another life that we are going to be entering; a life that is for eternity. God also says that we are all predestined with a hope and a purpose, that He has prepared GREAT things for us to do with Him. Yet with the every day business of life, we often tend to feel so invisible and we think our lives seem mundane: The mom at home with her children constantly cleaning and making snacks; wiping noses and spills. Or the man behind a desk day after day punching in numbers, putting out fires and paying off a mortgage... 

The beautiful thing about life is that it never stays the same, our bodies change, our perspective matures, our taste varies and we never stay in the same place. Significance is something we are constantly discovering through every season, and in life there are many, many seasons. Significance is the one thing every human being is longing for, hungry for something that says they belong and they are not a mistake. Its an insatiable hunger, put there by the designer Himself. I used to often wonder why God made us this way if He asks us to lay our lives down. 

Heres the thing, I don't think God intended us to fully arrive in this life, to be self sustainable and to rejoice in what we build or have built. The truth is none of us have arrived. We have an ingrained desire to “find ourselves” and “discover our purpose and calling.” The world says we have to live for that “one moment,” the one where we are singled out from a crowd, the one where every one stands in awe of who we are or what we have done, the massive breakthrough, or the wildest dreams coming true.…. yup some of us live for those moments, and without them we feel lost.

We all want to see the victories and the crowns but no one wants to hear the stories behind those moments, the hours of sweat and tears, crying out for answers. The years of struggle and faithfulness with little. The months of loneliness walking through the pain. We want the palace stories, not the pit ones. 

You see, the journey is where we truly find out what we are made of. The Lonely times, the starving times, the grief, the pain – that is when we find the substance of whats inside. Take away the distraction, the buzz or the static noise of life and sit in the silence. Put your phone down, lift up your head and have a good look and whats in front of you. Stare in the mirror. See those wrinkles from the years of laughing or crying? See the scars and stretch marks? Remember who you are, and what God has done. Remember how far He has carried you, walked with you, held you. Remember the times when you had little, remember the times when you had no options, because those are the moments that really matter. The moments when you said "no", or "yes". The moments when no one understood or agreed with you but you followed His voice anyway. The times when you danced alone in your lounge when all you wanted to do was sit and cry. The times when you chose the low road as others were promoted around you...Those are the moments of real significance. 

They are the unseen moments, the moments when all of heaven stops and watches in anticipation as you climb out of depression, as you face the pain of rejection or as you courageously stare into the eyes of fear. In those moments you are singled out of the crowd, you are cheered for by your maker and all the hosts of Heaven. Those are the moments that really count.

Earthly fame and rewards are fleeting and fickle, but eternal rewards are given without measure and last through the fire. 

Here is the golden point: He is the significance of our lives! His smile is the greatest prize and honor of my life, His smile qualifies me, identifies me, secures me, defines me and sustains me. 

Ive learned to rejoice when the mat of life gets whipped out from under my feet. Its a reminder to stay on my knees, and thats the place I want to learn to live from. 

It all starts on the floor.

The search for Significance

Almost two years “on the job” and I cannot believe how quickly the time goes. Its still strange to say that I am a “Pastors wife." 

I remember being fourteen years old and wanting to be a mother and work in full ministry with my husband and children. Well here we are.

After the whirlwind of racing back to South Africa to get our Religious workers visa and rushing back to start this wonderful new season, we hit the ground running hard and fast. Peter had missed all the staff training and blew into the new BSSM school year with 60 hungry students, a team of six interns and a whole lotta learning to do! We were green and ready!

About a month into this year I remember being in my kitchen washing dishes and a reality splashed into my face like ice cold water. I realized that although so much had changed for us as a family and certainly for Peter, my personal little world hadn't changed that much at all. Here I was in my two bedroom apartment with my two little girls on the other side of the globe, still feeding hungry mouths and feeling somewhat small and insignificant. My daily routine hadn't shifted, I stare into the two same little faces as I homeschool and home-make. 

I had been so caught up in the much excitement and wonder of the “ministry” and the shifted season we were going into that I failed to see the ministry that had been stirred within me and in front of me all the time...

I am wanting to shift the purpose of this blog.

Instead of it being about our "great adventure", our happenings and circumstances, I want to dig a little deeper into the "diary of my heart" if you will. My goal is to turn this into a platform of encouragement; a garden of thought and heart, the stirrings from God we so often overlook. The next post has been something Ive been walking through for years and in many way am still navigating...

The Search for Significance. 

It's the Beginning of a Beautiful New Season

Nineteen months ago, on Christmas eve I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a voice in our room. The voice was loud, clear and full of authority.

"Its the beginning of a beautiful new season."

I sat up and looked at Pete, but he was sound asleep and I immediately realised I had heard the audible voice of the Lord. In reverence and humility my spirit leapt and I knew the Lord had deposited a promise into my heart. 

I have held onto those words for nineteen months and I have been incubating them in my heart knowing that, in time, those words would birth the "beautiful season" God had promised. 

Our third year at BSSM has been incredible. Pete spent ten months working and travelling with Steve Backlund of Igniting Hope Ministries. We have grown deeply as a family in every possible area and God has provided for us in the most miraculous ways. I have loved homeschooling the girls and have had the privilege of being involved in Wendy Backlund’s ministry. The year flew by and before we knew it Pete received his graduation certificate at the beginning of May this year. All around us fellow students were starting to pack up and say goodbye. The “what’s next?” question was on everyone’s lips and everybody seemed to have a plan….except us. 

We didn’t have a clue what was next. Our simple “We don’t know” answer was acceptable at first, but after a few months the answer seemed crazy and irresponsible. Throughout our time of praying and seeking God for the next step in our life, we only heard one word from Him..."WAIT." That word was all He said for two very long months.

Pete and I both felt that our season in Redding and at Bethel wasn't over. we felt a sense of destiny here, we believed we were called here by the Spirit of God and our minds couldn't comprehend how it would work because there didn't seem like any possibility of us staying. Our visas were expiring and, unless a miracle opened up for us, we had to pack up our lives and leave America by August 2016. I knew God had a plan but we didn’t know what it was and the weeks of waiting started to feel like torture. I kept hearing those words echoing in our quiet room on Christmas eve and my discomfort increased as questions started to explode in my mind…”God where are You? What are You doing, what are WE doing? I feel crazy, I feel lost, I feel hopeless, where is this beautiful season? God I don’t know what to do, where are You?!”

I recognise hopelessness and I know what it does. It preys on dreams, destiny and desire. Hope allows us to walk on the water in victory whereas hopelessness drowns you in defeat and comparison. I began to feel like I was drowning and thats when we decided to dig! I felt God challenge me to dig deep into His heart and wrestle with the promise He had given me all those months ago. He didn’t lead us out here to drown and I wanted to find out why. 

“Lisa you and Pete are pregnant with a promise. And If you will faithfully stand with Me, I will birth the season out of the wait. This birth will be by My hand alone and in My time. Don’t panic and abort the promise out of fear and don’t look to man or to yourselves to prematurely bring about the next season. Trust in Me and I will sustain you.”

I felt in the Spirit He was leading me to the top of a mountain and the higher we climbed the more I began to realise why. He was graciously bringing me to an altar. Everyday I would spend thirty minutes on my exercise bike alone in my 35 degree celcius garage listening to sermons and, in prayer, I began contending with God for the promise He had given to us as a family. I wasn’t ready to lay the promise down, but the closer I got to that altar the more I knew I had to. We gave ourselves until the end of June to pray and hear God. The weeks rolled on and the praying became more desperate but I found God's hand bring my daily bread. Each day there was grace sufficient. The end of June arrived uninvited and all we saw were closed doors. We knew we had to start making decisions and plans but we were not ready to make those plans in defeat. Nevertheless we laid our dreams down, sold our car and gave notice on our apartment: we would move out and leave Redding at the end of July.

One evening I was cycling in the garage and through tears I began to worship God. I thanked Him for His faithfulness and I purposed in my heart that He deserves all the Glory. I truly felt like I was laying my “Isaac” on the altar in worship to Him. I never want a promise or a place to be more important that Him. He is my reward, He is my promise and He is all I want. I began to tell Him who He is (as if He doesn’t know, but my ears and heart needed to hear it) Good, kind, faithful, loving, abundant! An ever-seeing God, patient and merciful. Life-giving, true and worthy of every cell in my body! This is what we were designed for - worship. Our lives are His and it felt amazing. 

Then I heard Him speak …

“Lisa its here. Come and pick it up. The promise is here and its getting ready to be birthed. Pick it up off the altar. Be brave and hope again. I see you. Give Me another week, but give me your all!”

I didn’t know if I had the energy to do this. Its painful to hope where there seems to be no hope, to throw your heart out and risk the possible disappointment and discouragement. Its scary! I just wanted a decision. I wanted to aim somewhere and shoot! 

But out of my lips came the “Yes Lord, here is my life and you are My God." Our all we gave…and that week was life changing…

We discovered how to turn frustration into celebration. I learned, that as I delighted in my God, He became my glorious Hero. Everyday we began to focus on who God is and moment by moment His nature became not just our bread, but our feast. I learned that, even in the unknown He fully knows us. I understood the power of laying down my will and placing it on the altar. I discovered that worship in its truest form is obedience and saying yes to Him is worth a thousand songs. We began seeing that our most dangerous weapon in warfare isn't travailing in prayer but rejoicing in faith. I realised that God doesn’t want to kill our dreams and our desires, He wants to breath life into them! He is a life-giving God, not a life-taking God! I started picturing me placing our "baby" of promise into a basket, as Moses was, and sending it down the river of His love. I began to trust Him to lead our promise to a palace, something greater than we could ever imagine. All simply because He is GOOD! He LOVES us and He is GOD! He only works in abundance. He doesn’t offer lack or second best. He is trustworthy and so we chose to trust. He is a God of Hope and hope NEVER disappoints. We placed our desires and dreams at His feet and praised God for His goodness. We chose to celebrate and not feel disappointed. The beautiful season will be beautiful because He is beautiful. 

The week ended in victory. Nothing changed in the natural but on the inside we felt absolute freedom and triumph. Something shifted in the spirit and we felt surrendered but in a powerful way, not in a defeated way. We were ready for the next season and we were excited.

A few days later out of the blue Pete was called for an interview for a position as a Pastor within the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, the exact position we had felt lead to pray and trust God for. Within the week he went through three interviews the last of which was with Kris Vallotton. 

At the end of July Pete was invited onto the Pastor Team at Bethel Church. When we received the news we could not believe that this had actually happened... we weren't crazy! God did hear and He was with us the whole way!! The promise was real and the wait was for something. This position has been a dream of ours since we arrived here three years ago, but we never thought it would happen. It seemed impossible. The most amazing thing is that three of our best friends are on the same pastor team, all South Africans!

So within days of our visa expiring, we will fly to South Africa to begin the process of changing our visa from a student visa to a Religious Workers Visa. We are SO excited to see family and friends and the girls can’t wait to fly … again :) They are incredible travellers.

More than anything I want this blog to be a testimony of Gods goodness and His grace. Testimony opens doors that others can walk through and the breakthrough we have received as a family is yours to walk into. Our story has not been written by man and it is not about us, but it is and always will be about His mighty strength and His glorious kindness. His promise of a beautiful new season has arrived and it is always on time. God is not a second too late and not a minute too early. Nothing is impossible for Him. NOTHING! And if you give Him your life, He takes you into beautiful places. It's not about a location, a job or a possession but its about Him. Its about going deeper into trust, hope and greatness in Him alone. Faith looks like signing your name on a blank piece of paper and allowing Him to write your story.

All fame, praise, glory and honour goes to God! He is a good good Father!

My side.

I realise that social media paints a pleasant picture of life; breezy, light and smiley. We want people to see the perfect painting but no one gets to see the process and the hard work behind the agonisingly meticulous strokes that brought the painting to life. 
Everything that is valuable in life comes with a cost. The higher the cost, the greater the value. Today's generation unfortunately expects doors and opportunities to fly open and gifts to be simply handed to them by the ones that have paid the price, counted the cost and ran the race to get to where they are. I know Jesus handed us salvation but we are the ones that have to walk it out. And how we walk through life shows a lot about how much we value that free gift of salvation.

I never want to be the “artist" that makes the picture of life seem effortless and deny the beauty of the process; the tears and the pain. I have come to realise that I may have painted a "pretty" picture of how these last few years have been for us. I have spent time writing about our journey and less about our walk. At the end of the day which actually matters more? And please accept my apology for that picture coming across as “perfect” and effortless. 

I wanted this to be a blog about the depths of my heart. So, aside from Pete’s time at school and his internship, I wanted to let you in on my world :) I am not afraid to show you the caverns of my heart: the good things and the hard things. I have learnt that vulnerability is a weapon and not a shameful black cloak. Our testimony is a living sword, our words create and the way we live brings forth life. 

So here are a few things that I have walked through these past few years (and sometimes crawled through) LSSH (Lisa’s Supernatural School of her own Heart) - couldn’t resist. 

As you know, I haven’t done school. I have stayed at home with my girls and I homeschool them in character, academics, values and through life in general. When we arrived in the USA I navigated our world and became familiar with my new surroundings. I have created a home. I do lots of cleaning and laundry. I hunt for good food deals and I feed my family. And in between all this, I school my own heart with my teacher - Holy Spirit. I am writing this in obedience and allowing God to do what He does best :)

During the first year of our time in Redding I felt very insecure and left out. I felt like my role in this journey was invisible and insignificant. I believed the lie that this season was all for Pete and I had to stand on the side and support him like a "good" wife should (which is partly true but isn’t that what the enemy does? Twist the truth and deny us of power?) 
After a few months resentment started to build up on my heart like mould. After a while that mould started infiltrating my actions, my speech and my thinking. The character of an orphan mentality resembles  the character of mould - it gets in everywhere and it is dangerous to your health. Self pity, anger, loneliness, a victim mentality, complaining, insignificance etc etc - it all comes attached and its yucky!!! It all stems from the same place - fear. 
The funny thing about this orphan mentality is that it views other's successes as your failure and when others are blessed you only see your lack. It paralyses your joy and makes you feel like you are totally abandoned. It barricades your heart from any source of hope and love. Nasty!! Who would want that!? And yet only we allow it in. I agreed with a lie and suddenly I had uninvited filthy guests.
It came to a point one afternoon when I got on my knees and asked God to forgive me and to speak to me. The lies had become so loud. 
But OH! When He speaks!!! …..And He did. He spoke firmly and gently like only He can. 

“When did the YES of man become more important than my YES for you? Do you not know who you are and how my pleasure covers you everyday? My love is not blind or deaf. I heard your 'yes' to me when you were 14, I saw the line you drew in the sand. Now stand up out of entitlement, dust yourself off and walk in that 'yes'.You are my child! Act like one!” 

Wow! Tail between my legs - but in a good way. I felt His love cover me like honey and all my defence broke.
I wish I could say the thoughts and pain melted away, but they didn’t. 
This is the thing: We can do hard things! We are not robots controlled by God. We can partner with Him because we are powerful! 
This process involved me making a decision to step into the YES I said to God 16 years ago; the yes that said “I will go and I will do anything. Seen or unseen, my life is Yours.” 
I had to make that decision EVERYDAY!
I chose to see the things that I do daily as if it were worship to God with flags and beautiful dance moves - except all I had was a broom and I lift my hands to hang up the laundry :) But it was different and it felt different because I knew I was doing what He wanted me to do. I felt powerful and free because what I did mattered to the only One worth pleasing. All of a sudden it was as if Heaven’s attention had been drawn to me because my actions began to reflect faith and hope. God responds to faith and I felt His pleasure on what I was doing. 

In September 2014 I felt God challenge me further.

“ Lisa you have permission to be fully you and to step into all that I have created you to be. But with this comes a cost. Many are called but few are chosen because few are willing to pay the price. 
Are you willing to let go of your old mindset? Are you willing to steward My truth and train your mind, thoughts and actions to partner with truth? Are you willing to be disciplined with your words? Are you willing to choose Joy and thankfulness over loneliness and doubt? Are you willing to celebrate when others succeed? Are you able to love others when its not reciprocated? Can you trust Me with everything you have? Are you able to be generous when you have little, to love Me and worship me through the drought and through the rain? Will you chose to believe I am good in every circumstance?  This life is a marathon along a narrow road, its not a sprint on a freeway. Hold onto peace. See whats in front of you and be faithful with what I have given you right now.”
I said yes again. I cannot help but say Yes to Him over and over again. 

I made the decision since then to steward what I had been given in this season: two beautiful little girls. I get to offer my “two loaves and five small fish" to Him and see what He does. 

So often we get fixated on our dreams and our future. We want the “more” immediately and somehow forget to handle what he has given us now. We don’t want to pay the price and walk the hard roads. We resist the little steps. 

Imagine if a generation were given the “multitude” before they had been faithful with the little. Or if they had been given the pearl of great price without it costing them a dime. The cost is not a curse, its a beautiful offering that has eternity in mind.

I have my dreams: I want to write books, preach and teach. I want to prophesy and heal the sick. I want to raise the dead. I want to mother nations. But for now…I will mother my two. Right now I have an audience of two little hearts that I will preach to, prophesy over and pray for when they are sick or sad. My two little loaves named Amy and Katie :)

I don’t think we ever fully have life "sorted". Just  when we feel like we have done a good job, things flip and we feel like we have to start from scratch again…am I right? Well its not about the destination or the past. I have learnt that its actually about the process. And the process is the place that births the character, the strength and the skills we need to fulfil His call for us. Those impressive ministry titles, the stages with microphones and the recognition? What does it mean? 

I want to end this marathon knowing that the paths I chose led to His heart. I want to be the faithful steward, the one who sold everything I had to pay for the only pearl of great price. I want Him.

I am still running the marathon. That is what matters. 

Beginning the Third year.

Its our last day in South Africa.

This evening (12 August 2015) we board our plane at O.R Tambo airport and begin the 32 hour journey to Redding California where we will begin our third year at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry - an internship year with Steve and Wendy Backlund. 

We have been in South Africa for 11 weeks spending time with friends and family as well as organising and renewing our student visa for our up and coming year. The time with family has been incredible. There have been many moments of laughter, heartfelt conversations, tears and encouragement. The girls were reunited with all their cousins and so from sun up to sunset the air has been filled with laughter, songs and imaginary games. 
It has been so good to hear familiar accents and phrases. The taxis, the colours, the smells, all of this has felt comforting to us.

We began our time in South Africa with my sister and her beautiful family. We were welcomed at the arrival gate of the airport with hot Woolworths cappuccinos (thanks Mike). We received lots of hugs, gifts and wonderful South African food. The jet lag was short lived and we were in SA time within 4 days. From there we spent some quality time with my Dad and Mom in Pretoria before our trip down to Durban. 

The Durban winter is like paradise; warm days and cool evenings. We spent 7 weeks with Pete's family who live in Hillcrest, our "hometown". We also got to catch up with my brother and sister-in-law and met up with loads of friends. It was such a joy seeing everyone again. There were many beach visits and good coffee, GREAT coffee (my love language). The goodbyes have been emotional and tough but the excitement in our heart is great. 

Pete and I were able to share and minister into a few churches and home groups during our stay in Durban. During those moments we felt so alive! God confirmed and ignited something in our hearts - something we were born to do and that is to see people and churches awaken to the Kingdom and love of God. We feel so excited about the year ahead because we know that this year is going to be strategic and significant for us as a family.

Our last 2 weeks have been spent in Gauteng and today we begin the final packing and complete our last few admin details.
Last night we managed to secure an apartment in Redding. The one thing I have really desired is a small garden for the girls to play in. For the last two years we had a small gravel yard which allowed us to have some outside play, but I longed for some grass and a little tree...or something green :) Well, God gave us just that!! We found a place that is available and managed to send in an application and, with a lot of help from some special friends, we are able to sign the lease and move in on Friday. The only condition is that we have to pay 6 months worth of rent upfront - ouch! But let me share that side of our journey... 

We wanted to follow on from my last blog, "The shoreline of faith", and share a bit of our financial testimony. At the end of May we arrived back in South Africa with little less than R2000 in our bank account. With our South African savings we were able to live in the USA for 18 months - that in itself is a huge miracle! A huge part of our third year adventure is completely trusting God to provide for us financially. Even though it's an internship, we are still 'students' and therefore travel on student visas which makes it illegal to work in the USA and so this is yet another self funded (or God-funded) year.

I can be honest and say that my faith has wavered and has sometimes felt like it has been a rickety hut stilted on sinking sand :) especially watching the exchange rate hit a 15 year low at R12.80 to $1!!! (lets laugh at that!)
BUT He is the One who believes in us and He fulfils His promise. We just had to do our part and go. As I sit here I can truly testify of Gods goodness and His faithfulness. He is who He says He is and He is GOOD! We already have been given 70% of what we need for the year!! And we believe that the last 30% will come through. We feel totally humbled and grateful to everyone that has sown into our year and we know that, as we reap, you will too. Its just how God works :)

A few weeks after we arrive back in Redding, Pete will be travelling with Steve to Canada for two weeks on a ministry trip where they will be visiting different churches in and around Vancouver Island and mainland Vancouver. 

South Africa is an incredible nation, we have loved being back in our home country. We have so enjoyed eating the delicious food and soaking in the scenery but most of all connecting with friends and family who will forever have our hearts. 

Redding, here come....again :)

The Shoreline of Faith

In three weeks time we leave the USA and head back to South Africa and will be there for the months of June and July. Over the next couple of weeks we will be packing up our little home and storing our belongings for when we return in August to find a fresh little home for the new season ahead.  

We are so excited to return to South Africa to see family and friends that we have dearly missed. The talk about South Africa here is FULL of hope - people who have visited our country have come back bursting about what God is doing there. 

Next year:

After Pete had been invited onto Steve and Wendy Backlunds team we found out that two of our best friends (fellow South Africans) have also been invited onto the same internship team (viva South Africa!!) and so the celebrations continued. 

Steve Backlund runs a Church Leadership track (class) for second year BSSM students and Pete has attended this class in first and second year. He has loved it. Steve has asked Pete to lead the track next year. This is a huge honour as this particular track is known to be one of the more significant and impactful classes in the school. I know he will do a fantastic job.

Our hearts are feeling hopeful and excited about coming back to Redding for another year. We know that it is right and it is going to be a very important time for us. But while we celebrate and rejoice, we also have a sobering feeling that now more than ever, we need to lean in further and hear our Fathers voice about every step and every need. 

A vision of HOPE

Slowly but surely we have been following Jesus as He gently led us to the shoreline of faith. Here I stand on the soft lapping shore facing the roaring ocean and I have realised that we had been walking on wet sand up until now. All this time I thought we were walking on the water! 

This year we are stepping out into the waves and our eyes have to be locked onto His. What He says, we will say and what He does, we will do. 

When we fix our eyes on Jesus and seek first His Kingdom and righteousness, the things of this world grow strangely dim and before we know it, all ‘these things’ have been added to us. Before we know it, we have crossed the sea into the promise!

This is our vision for the next season of our lives and something God has given us to hold onto when and if we panic. (we plan on NOT panicking ha ha)

And with this, we have decided to be children of obedience. Listening ‘fist time’ as I so often say to my girls :)

Money honey

The biggest faith journey for the year ahead is finances. Lets face it, without money we can’t survive. For the last two years, 'our stepping out in faith' looked like using all our savings as well as trusting God to provide for the last few months of this year. Although this required huge amounts of faith to do, we have realised that it was more like walking on wet sand because, for the most part, we knew the money was 'in the bank’. But now that our personal finances have run dry, we see that we are now truly stepping out onto the water. We have had moments of extreme excitement about this and moments of doubt and stress…and a few tears ha ha. But it must be said that we are absolutely sure that staying another year is what God is wanting for us as a family - and He has confirmed it. This is what gives us great hope.

What I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, is that we are safe. We are children of God and HE IS GOOD! 

I don’t believe in a "bread line" Christianity, I believe that God provides everything we need to live and to give. I have always known God as a good provider. My parents are in full time ministry and still rely entirely on God for financial support. Growing up I saw my parents pray about every financial decision and trust God for every cent or penny. Money came in every time and we never lacked as a family. He is true and His word is true, His provision is unconditional and His resources are endless. The body of Christ defends, uplifts and supports one another - She is beautiful and healthy.

The vulnerable part :)

And so, through prayer and whilst looking into the eyes of Jesus to gain courage, we are being obedient to His voice. 

Pete and I have felt to make our needs known through this blog (see ‘Support' page). 

Vulnerability is scary and uncomfortable but I have seen how powerful it is - its a weapon of light, not humiliation.

Seeing ourselves through Jesus’ eyes has also shown us that we are worth investing in. What we carry is important and unique and its ONLY through His grace that we are who we are. Jesus is the reason, He is worthy of it all and so being humble doesn’t mean putting ourselves down or hiding ourselves and our needs. Humility means lifting our head and our hands and stepping up to the plate with a roaring “YES!!! I will go and I will do whatever it takes to make Him famous because our value and His love was worth Him dying on the cross.” 

This has been a very open and honest blog and our heart is to share our adventure with you openly and honestly. I really want to thank every person that reads this and cheers us on. Jesus is why we do what we do!

We felt to make our journey and needs known for the up and coming year and to offer an opportunity to anyone who would like to share in our journey and invest in us as a family prayerfully or financially. 

I have put together a “support page” on this blog with more specifics.

SEE YOU SOON SOUTH AFRICA!